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On January 11, 2016, my friend Carl died after a two year journey with ALS, a fatal nervous system disease that weakens muscles and causes atrophy and paralysis while leaving one’s cognitive functioning largely intact. Between his diagnosis and death, Carl out taught all my previous religious professors, pastors, authors, and peers—not because he was a spiritual wunderkind, guru, or an astute theologian, but because he embodied the teachings of Jesus Christ. 

 

I was determined not to waste my grief in nostalgia. So I turned to reading and writing as I never had before. The perspective I gained from our friendship fueled a radical way of thinking about the Bible and practicing religion and spirituality—inspiration I never anticipated would come from someone like him. Why? Because Carl was an atheist.

 

Carl’s atheistic mindset neither frightened nor threatened my spiritual sensibilities–in fact, I grew convinced that doctrinal exceptions must be made if Christianity were to remain a viable belief system going forward. The sad truth is that Christian doctrine is not only painfully ancient but also regrettably known for its exclusivity toward those who doubt and/or disbelieve the conventional ways of understanding, loving, and following Jesus.

 

So when Carl died, I felt as compelled as ever to disclose the doubts and questions about God and Christianity that I had been wrestling with for years and to create an evolutionary (faith as a process and journey vs faith as a decision or static beliefs) way to lead within institutional Christianity as a religiously skeptical pastor.

 

In the words of the 16th century German theologian and OG Protestant reformer, the Reverend Martin Luther: “I cannot and will not recant anything. For to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.”